I have always liked numbers. I hate maths, do not get me wrong – but numbers themselves are comforting. Counting makes sense. Keeping track makes sense.
I like to see numbers. Work out how many days, how many hours, how much time I spend doing this or that.
And when I am particularly anxious, when I struggle to get my brain to rest, I count. I take notes. And I write down the numbers that made up my cancer journey.
538 days since diagnosis.
473 days since my hysterectomy.
Two days until my next check up.
117 days since the last one.
31 hospital appointments so far.
Four appointments, three hospitals in the next ten days.
146 phone calls.
Two nights in the hospital.
Nine blood tests.
Two ovaries, two tubes, one womb.
No ovaries. No tubes. No womb.
Five Macmillan nurses.
One clinical psychologist.
17 appointments to discuss my mental health.
Three prescriptions I take daily.
Six panic attacks in the last three days.
Nine unrelated episodes of tears.
One in 36 women in the UK.
Over 26 cases every day.
3% of all cancers in the UK.
The fourth most common cancer in women.
90% chance of surviving the cancer for over 5 years.